Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Fail

Fail.

Everything I have done over the past 24 hours is a total fail.

Last night I:

Promised the most wonderful person in the world that I would get my husband (who is on the board of directors of our housing co-op) to sign a packet of very important stuff that she dropped off so she could grab it this morning & then completely forgot to tell him about it, thereby screwing up her day today.

Got so annoyed at my baby because she WILL NOT QUIT SCREAMING that we ran out of patience and put her to bed without putting on her pyjamas because we couldn't stand her anymore and she kicked off all her blankets over the course of the night and woke up this morning with approximately the same body temperature as a frozen turkey. 

Told my youngest son to "Please, just shut UP!!!!!" because his stories take 3 years to tell and there's no point anyway, and I just wanted to finish watching the "Survivor" finale that we had already paused 442 times and now he is telling everyone else to shut up. 

A few weeks ago, Liz qualified for the Team Calgary wrestling team at the Alberta Winter Games next February (GO, Liz!!!!!), and because she is a stellar athlete and had also made the school senior basketball team, and the basketball games are at the same time as the Team Calgary wrestling practices, we told her she'd have to choose one or the other so as not to take up a space on the team that could be given to someone who could commit to being at all the games and she was hysterical (What? You’re good at too many things and it makes you sad? Some people have acne or missing limbs, and some have no friends and no food. This is not a big deal.) and I made a nasty comment about her sense of entitlement and sent her to bed. (Note- school principal has since called and asked that I let her play anyway, because she came to him today to quit the team and he promised he would talk to her mother, so she will be missing all the games, but will be playing in tournaments and playoffs, so the lesson I was trying to impart was lost anyway).

Called my husband a name so foul I can't even type it because he went to bed and left his spaghetti plate out and half full Tim Horton's on the end table, and I am apparently expected to clean up after him.

And this morning I:

Caused Eva to have yet ANOTHER temper tantrum because I dared to put coat, hat, mitts & boots on her (the snow pants weren’t worth it), and clothing makes her angry. 

Spilled my coffee down the front of my 'It weighs 378546 pounds and takes 6 months to dry if I wash it' heavy winter sweater. 

Fell off the front steps (apparently they're icy) and am pretty sure I have sprained my wrist. 

And discovered I accidentally unplugged the deep freeze when I cleaned the basement on Sunday night and everything in there (including Christmas dinner) is a write off, and that's what I get for shopping early and getting all my ingredients early and prepping them and freezing them and cleaning the basement, which I had been putting off for weeks and weeks and weeks and finally couldn't ignore anymore.

My goal is to get through the rest of my day without suffering any more injuries or accidentally killing someone else, then I will curl up on the couch, eat the two turkeys and a giant ham and 8 loves of bread that have survived the destruction in my deep freeze, but are now thawed and need to be consumed, and cry myself to sleep.

Please send booze.